Posts Tagged ‘God’

Waking to Fear

Posted in Leukemia, Life and Ministry, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 29, 2013| 3 Comments »

 

fear

I did not sleep well last night.  I find that as we approach the time of returning home and as the visits to the hospital and to our doctors become fewer and far between, there is not a sense of relief but a sense of fear.  Throw into the mix the new healthcare laws going into effect in a matter of days and not really knowing how that will impact Allana’s ongoing care and I find myself doing just a little bit of internal churning.  Friday enhanced for me the precariousness of her situation.  This is not to say that this sense of fear came on suddenly, it has been building.  It just kind of peaked last night and early this morning.  But as I finally gave in to the hopelessness of getting back to sleep, again…I heard buzz of an incoming email and this is what I found:

Sep 29, 2013

Facing Your Fears

By Charles F. Stanley

http://www.intouch.org/you/article-archive/content?topic=facing_your_fears_article

I wanted to smile and cry at the same time.   At that point the content of the devotional didn’t really matter.  God was just reminding me the He knows where I am at every minute of every day.  I am a little disappointed in myself that after all of His miraculous interventions in my life I am so easily sidetracked but it is great to KNOW that I have the God who is ready to coddle me when my human weaknesses show through.  I did of course read the piece and the first major point highlighted what had really happened.

“The first and best move you can make to build up your faith is to get your eyes off your problem and off yourself and onto Jesus. He is the Source of all your supply. He is utterly reliable and possesses all knowledge and all authority. Speak aloud the words of Hebrews 13:6 until they sink deep within your spirit: “The Lord is my helper; I will not fear. What can man do to me?”

People may criticize, reject, ridicule and persecute, but they can’t take away your salvation, your relationship with Jesus Christ, your eternal home in heaven, or the joy, contentment, and inner strength the Lord imparts to you.”

It is part of the incredible human disconnect that is at the heart of our faith.  For the Children of God successfully facing fear means not looking at the problem, or problems that bring the fear, it means looking right into the face of Jesus.  It is from this place that Paul tells the Philippians that he has learned to be content no matter what his circumstances are because no matter what is going on around him or what is happening to him, the face of Christ never changes.  I would encourage you to go and read the rest of Stanley’s devotional for today but here are the basic points

Second, ask the Lord to give you the help you need.

Third, encourage yourself by memorizing the Word of God and quoting it as often as you need a fear-buster of inner strength.

And, finally, ask others to pray for you.

Read Full Post »

The Delight of Your Eyes

Posted in Bible Study, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 30, 2013| 1 Comment »

“Son of man, with one blow I am about to take away from you the delight of your eyes. Yet do not lament or weep or shed any tears.

Ezekiel 24:16

(I do want to start this with a disclaimer: While I do believe that God has called us to walk this difficult road for His purposes and have already seen incredible fruit from our experiences both within us and around us, I have no reason to believe that Allana is going to be taken from us any time soon.)

Serving God can at times be overwhelming.  We are not told a lot about Ezekiel’s wife, just that she was “the delight” of his eyes.  Ezekiel loved her.  She was perhaps, next to God, the most important thing in Ezekiel’s life.  I have heard it taught that Ezekiel somehow sinned in his desire for his wife, that he had placed her above his devotion to God.  This is simply not in the text and perhaps arises from the desire to believe that God is here to serve us instead of the other way around.  We serve a God who loves us immensely.  We also serve a God who commands ultimate obedience, honor and trust.  The circumstances surrounding this loss are not known to us.  It can be supposed that Ezekiel’s wife succumbed to a fatal illness, a much more common occurrence in the those days than living a long and healthy life.  I can easily imagine Ezekiel crying out to God in prayer over her having been there many times for Allana.  I cannot but believe that Ezekiel’s wife was a godly woman, the respected and honored wife of a priest.  Why O lord does she have to go through this?  And the answer comes,” “For my purposes”

Paul understood service to God when he wrote to the Philippians, “For to you it has been granted for Christ’s sake, not only to believe in Him, but also to suffer for His sake, ” (Philippians 1:29)  Carizomai does not mean imposed upon or required.  It carries the sense of a pleasant task, a favor, something given benevolently.  As His servants, suffering for His name and for His purposes is part of the gift, but in the same book we find that this gift is paired with something else.  “ Rejoice in the Lord always ; again I will say, rejoice !  Let your gentle spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near.  Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will  guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:4-7)  This does not mean that everything is going to go the way that we desire it to, it means that through the storm we will be able to say, “It is well with my soul”.

God called Ezekiel to more than just losing the love of his life.  He is called to contravene the social norms of the day and to not enter into what was the common practice of very public and very loud mourning.  God calls him to “groan silently”.  Paul says, “Let your gentle spirit be known to all men.”  We are called to a holy standard not only in the gift of suffering for His name, but in the Holy Spirit empowered ability to break the customs of this world in our reaction to that suffering and show the very nature of God in our actions.  When we do that the world takes notice!   “and in the evening my wife died. And in the morning I did as I was commanded. The people said to me, “Will you not tell us what these things that you are doing mean for us?” (Ezekiel 24:18-19)  It is in the very city of Philippi that we get the story of the Philippian Jailer.  After being beaten and praising God through a night of imprisonment Paul and Silas are able to lead their captive audience, the jailer, and his whole family to Jesus.  “Sirs, What must I do to be saved” (Acts 16:30)

Read Full Post »

8 months

Posted in Bible Study, tagged , , , , , , , , , on August 16, 2013| Leave a Comment »

I just went back and read my Christmas Eve post on Nisa.  This is a quote from that post:

We have a mighty heavenly Father who cares for us in ways that I cannot begin to fathom.  He loves us in a way that is so far beyond my understanding that I only touch the edges of what AGAPE really means!

Several weeks ago while in prayer God gave me the name Nisa Faith.  Indeed she is a miracle of faith, not the simple faith of a single prayer or even the cry for healing but the faith of a 9 year journey.  She represents to us the faith of Abraham as he led his entire family to Canaan.  She represents the faith of Joseph as he waited in slavery, in prison for God to act.  She is even now, yet in the womb that miracle, an incredible act of God.

I did not know how real it was going to have to become in just a few short day.  I did not know that the flu symptoms that my beautiful wife was having were not the flu at all.  10 days later Allana was in the hospital in a battle for her life with a deadly disease known by its acronym ALL chromosome positive; Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia Philadelphia Chromosome positive.   Allana’s CaringBridge site follows the details of our experience.  Throughout this time we have had ups and downs.  I have faced the prospect of losing her and I have faced the deep pain of watching her suffer in ways that I could not even have imagined.  Yet the statement that I made 8 days after Nisa’s birth remains the truest thing in my life:

We have a mighty heavenly Father who cares for us in ways that  I cannot begin to fathom.  He loves us in a way that is so far beyond my understanding that I only touch the edges of what AGAPE really means!

I truly believe that it is this core belief that has opened up our lives for the miraculous interventions that have followed us throughout this experience. It is when we tie our relationship with God to our circumstances that trouble occurs.  If we accept that when bad things happen God somehow has diminished his love for us then our spiritual life will be a roller coaster of highs and lows, undermining our ability to grow spiritually.  The core statement then becomes:

We have a mighty heavenly Father who cares for us when life is good.  He loves us when I understand and can grasp the good things that he gives us.

I have recently been reading Ezekiel.  My heart broke for him as I read the simple verse in the middle of chapter 24. 

 “Son of man, with one blow I am about to take away from you the delight of your eyes. Yet do not lament or weep or shed any tears.”

It is with that statement that God informs Ezekiel that his wife is going to die.  We are not given any of the back story or the circumstances, just that as a part of his office as prophet of God, as a part of his calling to serve the almighty, as a part of her calling to serve Him, his beloved wife was going to die.  Two things we need to understand here.

1.  Ezekiel was not told by God to just ignore the death of his wife and not to mourn for her.  The culture of the day and even through to today in many cultures in the region, called for very loud and public mourning.  We know that in Jesus day wealthy families would hire professional mourners to make the process as loud and public as possible.  It was this public and plastic mourning that God called Ezekiel to ignore.  “17 Groan quietly; do not mourn for the dead. Keep your turban fastened and your sandals on your feet; do not cover the lower part of your face or eat the customary food [of mourners].”   This was extraordinary behavior for a recognized public figure.  God calls us as His elect to extraordinary behavior but he does not expect us to be wooden soldiers.  This mourning would be between God and Ezekiel.  And while the text does not explicitly say so, I believe that the phrase, The Word of the Lord came to me… is an indication of the miraculous intervention of the Holy Spirit.  Dabar is the Hebrew equivalent of Logos.  I am not going to jump into a word or phrase study here but I want to make the point that God did not leave Ezekiel hanging.  Ezekiel did not have the benefit of the indwelling Holy Spirit that we as New Testament believers enjoyed (He does note that the Holy Spirit entered him at one point and helped him to stand (Ezekiel 2:2).  Still “The Word of the Lord” was with him.  Ezekiel’s continued obedience and interactions with God’s people are a testament to his continued faith in God’s love for him.

2.  Ezekiel’s experience was not in vain.  When the Spirit of God moves things happen!  We may not understand or see the full scope of what God is doing but he calls His people to extraordinary behavior in extraordinary circumstances for His glory and to extend the purposes of His love for all mankind.

19 The people said to me, “Will you not tell us what these things that you are doing mean for us?” 

When God’s people do the extraordinary within the context of the extraordinary people notice.  And honestly what we do within the context of the ordinary often appears extraordinary to those who do not have a relationship with God.  We are not often told the impact of the words spoken by the Old Testament prophets.  I have to believe that while the national fate was sealed by the word of God individuals were impacted by the message and turned their faith to Him even as everything around them fell apart.

3.  It is in our relationship with God that the extraordinary occurs not out of ourselves.  It was the Holy Spirit through Ezekiel who defied the cultural norms to bring God’s message to the people of Israel. ” …for no prophecy was ever made by an act of human will, but men moved by the Holy Spirit spoke from God.” 2 Peter 1:21  Ezekiel’s response to this catastrophic even in his life is a direct response to the Holy Spirit.  I can assure you that his heart was breaking even as he rejoiced at the work of God being done in and through his life.  Some day I believe we will be able to talk to the individuals impacted by the ministry of Ezekiel even as the nation fell apart and  fell into exile.

Whatever circumstances one faces the opportunity for the extraordinary exists for all of the followers of Jesus who have the Holy Spirit as an integral part of their lives.  It is interesting that the less that we attempt to be extraordinary and only seek to be obedient, the more extraordinary things God accomplishes through us.

Read Full Post »

YesFM Morning Munch Devotionals

Posted in Bible Study, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 1, 2013| Leave a Comment »

Here is the link to The Morning Mayhem page with the Morning Munch Podcasts.  I spoke on change this week!

http://www.yeshome.com/TPage646.aspx

Read Full Post »

Encouragements Jan. 9th and 10th

Posted in Leukemia, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 1, 2013| Leave a Comment »

I thought that I would post some of the encouraging comments from Allana’s Caringbridge site.  I obviously could not post them all (the web page has had almost 13,000 hits!).  We are thankful to every person who has expressed support in so many different ways!

The Beginning

Allana, I believe God has something very, very special planned for you, he must have because look at all the tests he has and continues to place in your path and the path of your family.You are an inspiration to all of us, your strength and faith are amazing. I can only hope that one day I will have half the strength and faith you have.Since you have came into my life and I have watched and read your posts, notes etc. I can honestly say I have more faith in God than ever before.
Your sweet Nisa Faith is such a beautiful little girl, what a joy she must bring into you and Sam’s life. If God can make such a precious gift possible, surely he can help you beat this fight against leukemia.Keep up the fight girl, you can do anything with His help.
You and your family are in my prayers daily and in my thoughts often. Love to you and yours.

 

Sam, Allana, Emily, Robert, Sami, Chayla, Nisa,
We love you all and praying constantly for each of you.
I woke up this morning and literally the very first words that came to mind were:
 “Let faith arise! Let faith arise! Open my eyes! Open my eyes! Be still there is a healer. His love is deeper than the sea. His mercy is unfailing. His arms a fortress for the weak.” (Chris Tomlin)
I’m singing and praying this over you today.
What a beautiful and God glorifying entry. My husband heard the word, Leukemia 13 years ago after our first son was born. We know all too well the horrible haze of cancer but have also experienced tremendous grace in the midst of it. In this haze and fog, you will emerge fully aware and completely overwhelmed by the capable hands of God that have been carrying you thru. We will be lifting your family before the mercy seat of God and claim healing in Jesus’ name. God bless you and always hold on to the One who is holding you.
A few years ago, G and I were searching through the Bible looking for a verse to share on a school friend’s caringbridge site. Like you, he had been diagnosed with leukemia. We stumbled on this verse in Psalms from the Message Bible. Since then this verse has found its way to several more caringbridge sites as we have seen friends walk these unexpected journeys in life. And I cannot think of a better word for you today!

God’s love is meteoric, his loyalty astronomic, His purpose titanic, his verdicts oceanic. Yet in his largeness nothing gets lost; Not a man, not a mouse, slips through the cracks. Psalm 36:5-6

You know, I said stumbled upon this verse and yet I know with God, there is no such thing as stumbling. What an amazing God that in all that he is, nothing slips through the cracks. Today his love for you  lights up the sky like the brightest meteor and he holds you tenderly in the palm of his hand.

We love you and are praying for you!

You all are in my prayers as you walk through trying to wrap your heads around the reality of this.

I am praying for wisdom for your treatment team, and supernatural strength for the fight.

I have a friend that has survived AML; she is now going on 11-12 years ago this year that she received her life-saving bone marrow transplant.   She, too had a young baby at the time of her diagnosis.  It was touch and go for her for many months.

Keep immersing yourselves in Scripture, and allow your brother and ssisters in the Lord to hold up your weary hands in the battle.

To actually see the word, “dying” makes this so startlingly clear of the harsh reality of the situation for Allana and her family. It makes my heart physically ache. I am praying so hard! Stay as strong as God will help you to be. Stay positive….and I can see you guys are so strong in your faith and I can tell you guys are seeing the silver lining, even in this. Love you, Allana. I want so badly to be there to hold your hand, to hug your family…but I’m going to continue to pray with all my might, because where I.cannot do, I’ll always pray.

 

Read Full Post »

Redefined by Christ

Posted in Life and Ministry, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 19, 2013| 1 Comment »

Since Allana was diagnosed with Leukemia this place has been a mad house.  People ask the question and I find myself saying over and over, I have had to redefine what is a good day and what is a bad day.  The new normal for Allana, myself and our family is a bad day by the old standards, every day.  As I sit here thinking about this redefining process and my relationship to God it became clear to me that my relationship with God is the catalyst and the key to it.  This is what God does for us.  This is how he grows and draws us close.  A burning bush redefined life for Moses.  Suddenly a good day was risking his life standing before Pharaoh, or before his very own irate people.  I cannot help but wonder if Moses did not wish for the good old days of tending sheep in the hills of Midian.  Joseph had his days redefined in Egypt several times.  An angel by a wine press redefined a good day for Gideon.  Job, well Job is Job and he is perhaps the poster child for the redefining process.  Jesus redefined a good day for the disciples, over and over and over.  Then He redefined it for the universe by dying on Calvary.  I can almost hear God in his best Jerry Maguire impression on that day speaking to His People:  You know our little venture, well it had a big day, a really big day.  Now I complete you!.  Each of these has a real element of BAD to them.  It is important to realize that God does not want us to suffer, but He USES it and yes ALLOWS it because it serves His purposes in achieving Romans 8:28 which outlines the end result of the redefining process.  The good thing about this process is that it has a core.  It is a core that is made of rock hard incorruptible absolute truth.  It is a core that is omnipresent, omniscient, omnipotent and immutable.  What happens is that in all this redefinition we actually come to a single truth.

He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?   Micah 6:8

Circumstances change but a good day is when we do justice, love kindness and walk humbly with our God.  I cannot say that today was a good day, but We believe and we are learning  God give us grace and power to make tomorrow a good day, no matter what the circumstances are.

Read Full Post »

Leukemia

Posted in Leukemia, Life and Ministry, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 9, 2013| 12 Comments »

Allana’s Caringbridge Journal

What do you do when the academic suddenly becomes life, when things that you have read about, heard about or even seen become experience?

I sincerely expected my first post after the birth of our daughter Nisa Faith to be one of the joys and trials of new parenthood.   She is definitely much more joy than trial.  She is beautiful, sweet, cute and everything that I prayed for in our new addition.  I cannot let this new storm in our lives detract in any way from the miracle that she is.

Please forgive my rambling, there has been precious little sleep in the last few days.  Actually it has only been five days, five days in which one word, spoken by one doctor has changed everything, “Leukemia”.  I had heard that after a doctor speaks words like cancer or leukemia that everything else becomes a haze.  Now I know that it is true.  My wonderful wife of 11 years has leukemia at 34 years of age and with a 3 week old baby this ugly disease has raised its head and threatened not only the life of my beloved but our family, our ministry and our very way of life.  Well Leukemia we refuse to be threatened.  Allana has declared that we are not to speak that she “has” Leukemia, Allana is “fighting” Leukemia.  We are all fighting leukemia.

The outpouring of concern and support from God’s people, friends, family and even people who have just heard our story is amazing.  We are overwhelmed by the response and so thankful for those who have taken on the job of coordinating it.  I find myself over and over thinking how blessed we are, certainly not in having to deal with this horrible disease but in the fact that God has our back through it.

“…because of the tender mercy of our God,

whereby the sunrise shall visit us from on high

to give light to those who sit in darkness and in the shadow of death,

to guide our feet into the way of peace.”  Luke 1:78

Read Full Post »

The Joy of the Miracle: Born Again

Posted in Life and Ministry, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 8, 2012| Leave a Comment »

“He has done it!” ends David’s psalm 22.  The New American Standard Bible labels this Psalm: “A Cry of Anguish and a Song of Praise”.  David accepted  that all suffering is simply the path to the miraculous for those who are followers of Jesus.    Nisa will be for us a miracle of new life.  Our family in many ways is born again with the impending birth of this precious girl.  This is an attribute of the miraculous.  It brings rebirth to those it impacts.  Our very transformation from beings steeped in sin and unacceptable in the presence of God to children of the living God and those who are guaranteed an eternity in His presence is perhaps the greatest miracle of all.

If one dares the term, lesser miracles also carry this sense of new beginnings.  They are those points in our lives when our cries of anguish turn to songs of praise.  They are intended to transform on a spiritual level not just impact our physical beings.  It is this spiritual aspect of the miraculous that is so confusing to us.  When we approach the miraculous as simply God impacting our earthly lives (perhaps as reward or even punishment) it fogs the very nature of the miracles.  We become magicians searching for the “spells” or the correct formula of prayer (or behavior) that will manipulate God into acting the way that we conceive that he should.  Paul was singing praises in prison not because he thought this would enable, encourage or force God to act on his behalf.  He did it because he anticipated the miraculous in whatever form it would come.  (Acts 16:25ff)

Right now I can only anticipate and imagine the incredible joy that I will feel when I hold Nisa in my arms.  I am living in the confidence of Paul.

“For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.”  Philippians 1:6

Paul gives this statement as a basis for his ongoing joy.  He anticipated the miraculous.  Our ability to live out this type of anticipation is a function of the degree to which we embrace the initial miracle of our rebirth into the family of God and our ability to keep our spiritual eyes focused on Jesus.  It is the understanding that the miraculous is not so much about our physical circumstances as our spiritual lives and our relationship with God.  The miraculous operates within its own economy, one established and ordained by God.  It is an economy that ensures  joy for those who live by faith and anticipate the miraculous.

Read Full Post »

The Burden of The Miracle: Born of Suffering

Posted in Life and Ministry, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 30, 2012| Leave a Comment »

We had our baby shower for Nisa Faith on Friday.  It was a joyous occasion!  She is truly a miracle of faith.  As I watched our many friends and brothers and sisters in Christ who came to celebrate Nisa with us I considered the nature of the miraculous.  It came to me that as wonderful and amazing as miracles are in our lives they are born from, take place in the midst of and birth burden, or a weight upon our lives.  Consider a story very much apropos to our situation, Hannah and Samuel.  The miraculous event of Samuel’s birth was born out of the burden of Hannah’s barren state, born into the burden of a Spiritual vacuum in Israel and birthed the prophetic burden and kingly burden that would eventually be carried by the house of David and eventually and eternally by Jesus Christ.

It is with incredible joy and godly heaviness of heart that I look at the burden that set the stage for our miracle child.  The burden that miracles are born out of consists of suffering.  It would suggest a corollary for the Christian, for all who have a personal relationship with our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.  That is that all suffering is simply the path to the miraculous for those who are followers of Jesus.  The final assurance of Romans 8:28, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”  This promise seemed stale and far away when we were in the midst of the burden.  Just as the promise of God’s intervention must have seemed distant to a mourning and desperate Hannah as she endured the initial reaction of Eli the priest.  David felt the burden and the distance when he penned Psalm 22, pouring out his soul in verse and weaving a prophetic tapestry of the Messiah under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit:

“My God, my god, why have you forsaken me?  Why are you so far from saving me, so far from my cries of anguish? 

My God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer, by night, but I find no rest.”  (vs 1-2)

David ends this Psalm with a recognition of the burden/miracle relationship and his own rendition of Romans 8:28:

“Posterity will serve him; future generations will be told about the Lord.  They will proclaim his righteousness, declaring to a people yet unborn:  He has done it!”  (vs. 30-31)

He Has Done It!

Next: In the Midst of Burden

Read Full Post »

Who Worships What?

Posted in Bible Study, I'm Just Sayin', tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 11, 2012| Leave a Comment »

“My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge. Because you have rejected knowledge, I also will reject you from being My priest. Since you have forgotten the law of your God, I also will forget your children… My people consult their wooden idol, and their diviner’s wand informs them; For a spirit of harlotry has led them astray, And they have played the harlot, departing from their God. They offer sacrifices on the tops of the mountains And burn incense on the hills, Under oak, poplar and terebinth, Because their shade is pleasant. Therefore your daughters play the harlot And your brides commit adultery.”  Hosea 4:6, 12-13

As you may have noticed I am studying Hosea.  I would like to thank Dr. Stephen Dempster of Crandall University for recommending Douglas Stuart’s works on Hosea and the Minor prophets. I came across these Characteristics of Idolatry in Word Biblical Themes Hosea-Jonah.  The parallels to modern life and modern Christianity are unmistakable.  While we may disdain the ancient Peoples who worshiped gods of wood, metal and stone I wonder how really far removed we are from them.

1.  Idolatry claimed to offer results that were guaranteed

2.  Idolatry indulged the selfish interests of people

3.  Idolatry was easy

4.  Idolatry was convenient

5.  Idolatry was normal

6.  Idolatry seemed logical

7.  Idolatry was pleasing to the senses

8.  Idolatry was indulgent

9.  Idolatry was erotic

The world has not changed so much in the last 3000 years in the way that it entices God’s people to abandon their covenant with him and in the way that it seeks to prevent the lost from finding Him.  The allure of idolatry is just as strong (if not stronger) today for God’s Church as it was for God’s People in the days of Hosea.  How we respond to the siren song of Neo-idolatry shapes our relationship to God on both a personal and corporate level.

Read Full Post »

« Newer Posts - Older Posts »